On Blog Hiatus

For the next few months, I plan to focus on finishing book 6, With Liberty and Justice, so future posts will be scanty... unless I'm about to burst about something that would apply to Beans, Means & Possible Dreams. : )

How to Enlarge Your House in Less Than 20 Minutes

Do you remember the old story about the woman who kept nagging her husband for a bigger house, so he started bringing the livestock in a little at a time. After a while, the house was so crowded that they could hardly move. The husband finally emptied the house, and it seemed so much bigger to the wife than before because he changed her perspective about it.

That's sort of what I did today. My 1,560 sq. ft. home seems cavernous now after virtually touring through tiny homes from less than 100 sq. ft. to up to a spacious 320 sq. ft. home on YouTube. It made me realize we have plenty of space in our current house; we just have too much unnecessary stuff. And we need to learn to be creative when it comes to storage.

Here are some of my favorites:

1. Living in 89 sq. ft. -  Jay Shafer of the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company takes you on a tour. House located in California. Love the look of this tiny house.

Designer/Builder Jay Shafer in front of his tiny house

Photo from Itsrusticliving.blogspot.com 

2. Shotgun Shack Redux: Mortgage-free in 320 sf owned by Gary and Debra Jordan of Siloam Springs, Arkansas. Their son's "bedroom" is the loft.

Photo: http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/5-tiny-homes-youll-love-big-time.html

3. Tiny Texas House at the Homestead Cottages - this one is closer to home: Canyon Lake, Texas

Photo from hillcountryrelax.com

4. There is hope for the future! I'm so impressed with this 16 year old boy who's building his own small home to live in for college. The video shows his work-in-progress, and he's paying for it with his summer and part-time jobs.

Austin Hay showing the 130 sf home he is building

Photo from faircompanies.com

I'm not sure I would ever live in this small of a space if I had the choice, but it's nice to know there are these types of options if I had to drastically downsize financially. One thing I would have to learn to do is recognize what's important to hang onto in life, and let go of the things that aren't. That's been a struggle for me, but I'm getting better at it. Maybe that comes with age. And if you need some inspiration to de-clutter, it helps to watch Hoarding: Buried Alive occasionally to keep one's hoarding gene in check. 

We tend to think bigger is better, but bigger brings on a lot more maintenance, higher bills, and greater responsibilities. One thing I've enjoyed when it came to downsizing from a 2,800 sf home to my current 1,560 sf home is that I can clean the smaller home in a few hours versus taking all day to clean in the larger one. And that's like a gift of time to myself.

Toxic Vanity

Vanity is as old as the mammoth. W.L. George

I loved learning about Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen, when I was in London last August. I saw her tomb in Westminster Abbey with a full size effigy of her likeness atop it. Our guide told us the face was one of the few accurate likenesses of Elizabeth because it was created from the actual death mask. He said she never liked her nose and always had her portrait painters change it. I thought her face looked fine for a woman of almost seventy years of age. I don't know how accurate our tour guide's stories were, but they were interesting enough to make me want to learn more about England's fascinating history.

The following portrait was painted when Elizabeth was in her early sixties, and I would think that the artist painting the queen would attempt to flatter her with his efforts.  So we can only imagine what she might have actually looked like at that age.

Portrait of Elizabeth I attributed to Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger or his studio, ca. 1595. PD

The portrait below was painted five years after the previous painting, and it is attributed to two different artists, including Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger. Bless his heart. Maybe he felt bad about his first painting. She's a knock-out in the this one, although they do call it an allegorical representation of the Queen. I would love for someone to do an allegorical representation of me.  

Elizabeth I. The "Rainbow Portrait", c. 1600, an allegorical representation of the Queen, become ageless in her old age. PD

Borrowed from Wikipedia

Our guide also told us (which I confirmed) that Elizabeth's face was scarred due to small pox, so she started wearing makeup, which then caused her hair to fall out because the cosmetics were laden with lead. But she had access to wigs and beautiful clothes and obedient portrait artists to compensate for her flaws. I remember thinking at the time that I was glad to be born in an age where makeup is safe to use, and we didn't have to worry about toxic ingredients possibly causing cancer or our hair to fall out, even though my hair is falling out. 

Then I heard a news report about the alarming amounts of lead in women's lipstick. And I told myself that was probably the cheap, unknown brands from China or other countries with less standards of safety. Then I stumbled upon some Websites that say most every well-known brand of makeup and toiletries available in the U.S. uses some toxic ingredients, including lead. 

What?

I did a search to find what cosmetics were made in the U.S., and I didn't find one company that I recognized among the very short list of cosmetics actually made in the U.S. 

I found the following Websites that might be worth looking into. 

http://www.safecosmetics.org/, which created the following Website where you can type in the products you use to see if they contain any questionable or harmful ingredients:

http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

Cancer and auto-immune diseases are rampant in our culture today, and we need to pause and question if the products we're using or are exposed to in our environment could be related. Somebody else is looking at this, too.

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/reduce-your-risk/tips/choose-safe-cosmetics/

And check out this short video on The Story of Cosmetics:  

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/media/videos/story-of-cosmetics.html

For too much of my life, I've assumed others had my best interests at heart when it came to employers, financial advisors, health care providers, various companies, and even products I used. But getting burned multiple times is finally waking me up. We have to be our own advocates when it comes to our health and safety and stop sticking our heads in the sand assuming everything will be okay if we just don't think about it. 

Finding Strength & Peace

When Mom was diagnosed with ALS, we were devastated. We knew she'd been given a death sentence, and I was grasping for something to hold onto as it felt like I was sinking into a black hole. The day after her diagnosis, I started looking up verses in the Bible that might help us through this difficult time. As I found them, I wrote them on oval-shaped note pad papers and began taping them all over the house to remind us that we didn't face this disease alone. 

Mom told me those verses helped her more than anything else, so I wanted to share them:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, [or though ALS visits our household]. Psalm 46:1-2

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed. Isaiah 54:10

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Jesus said, 'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Perfect love drives out fear. I John 4:18b

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night. Psalm 91:1-5a

The Lord said, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' For when I am weak, then I am strong. [The Apostle Paul speaking] II Corinthians 12:9-10b

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, if anything is excellent or praise-worthy, think about such things. Put in practice what you learned in scripture, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:3-10

'Because she loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call upon me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her. With long life will I satisfy her and show her my salvation.' Psalm 91:14-16

And I added a few verses of my own:

We love you more than words can say, Momma, and we're with you every step of the way. I Family 1:1

We want to help you in any way we can, but remember, we're not good at reading minds, and sometimes we're downright dense, so please tell us what we can do for you; talk to us; let us be strong for you once (and a thousand times). I Family 1:2-3

We prayed for healing, but God chose not to miraculously heal Momma in her earthly body. After she lost her ability to speak, I would dream about Mom talking and wondered if God was still going to do something amazing like restore her speech or make her walk again. But He chose not to. So my prayers shifted to ask for strength and wisdom for Dad and me to help Mom with each new challenge the disease presented, and God did answer those prayers. And He gave us a peace within the midst of the storm.

 

The next few posts will share some of the ways and resources we used to help meet Mom's needs along the way.

Necessities vs. Luxuries

Going through periods of waning finances is a good time to stop and think about what is necessary in life versus what is not necessary. I've noticed many in my generation and younger have a difficult time recognizing the difference between the two.

This article will refer to them as necessities and luxuries.

Necessity: noun. an indispensable thing.
                                [indispensable is an adjective meaning absolutely necessary].

Luxury: noun. an inessential, desirable thing.
                             [inessential is an adjective meaning not absolutely necessary].

Many would say there are only four basic necessities of life (air, water, food, shelter), but that only applies to Tarzan.

Johnny Weissmuller as Tarzan; TomSoter.com

After all of an hour thinking about this, the following is my list of necessities in our day (in no particular order after the first nine):

• God [for many of us, but you have the freedom to not believe if you so choose]
• clean air
• clean water 
• food 
• clothing 
• shelter 
• love 
• knowledge 
• wisdom 
• energy/fuel
• companionship/family/friends  
• basic tools for building, repair & maintenance  
• patience
• means of supporting one's family or one's self
• gumption 

Acquiring these necessities are as varied as there are people. And I'm sure some of your necessities are different than mine, but most are indisputable. 

Examples of luxuries (in no particular order, and there are MANY more than these):

• manicure and/or pedicure
• shopping at a convenience store
• eating and/or drinking out 
• beauty or barber shop visit
• retail shopping
• entertaining in or out 
• liquor, cigarettes 
• vacation
• lawn service
• a new anything
• bottled water
• processed foods;  precut fruits and vegetables
• gym membership
• exercise equipment
• landscaped yard and lots of grass that needs watering
• a bigger house than one can afford
• more vehicle(s) than one can afford
• a university degree with huge loan debt
• impatience
• financing anything with a credit card or payday loan
• buying something unnecessary only because it was on sale

Examples of wrong priorities:

• Overheard in the workplace how broke someone was, then seeing that same person eating out with her children
• Choosing to spend a paycheck to pay for their child's birthday gifts and a party in a restaurant for her and her friends instead of getting their car back on the road by renewing its license and inspection sticker
• Impatiently applying for a $40,000 home improvement loan at an interest rate of 15%*
• Skipping out on the first three weeks of school to earn money for an expensive pair of tennis shoes to wear to school
• Paying more for a vehicle than the mobile home one lives in*
• Not using a budget and hoping for the best at the end of the month*
• A father re-selling a new refrigerator donated to his family so he could take them camping one weekend
• Spending money on entertainment instead of the rent or utility bills
• Getting one's nails done and hair frosted instead of buying tennis shoes for one's child so he could play sports at recess without getting blisters on his feet
• A divorced mother trying to maintain the same previous lifestyle for her sons, and losing their house in the process
• Paying on student loans for months instead of the mortgage payments

A precious lady who's gone on to be with the Lord some years ago told us about her husband selling their ranch unbeknownst to her, and they found him dead of natural causes the day he received payment for it. Unfortunately, they never found the money, and she was left penniless. Those tragedies would completely devastate and paralyze just about anyone, but not her. She found a job as a dorm mother at a college, where she worked for years to support herself and her son. She was the poster lady for 'where there's a will, there's a way.'

When the finances are good, we don't have to spend as much time questioning if something is a necessity or luxury as long as we are living within our means. I'm grateful to have family and friends who would help me out if I found myself in dire straits, but I also have a plan to downsize to living in a camper trailer if I find myself unable to earn enough money to support myself in a regular house. Or I can do what Elizabeth did and find a job that provides room and board. But the most important necessity I have will shelter me in the shadow of His wings, and that's the best place for me to be. 

*Personal experience

This One's Juusst Right

In the first two years of our married life, we lived in a one-bedroom bachelor-pad trailer house. We had to put the crib for baby #1 in the dining room, and by time I was expecting baby #2, we knew we had to make some more room.

Since the trailer was well built and included copper wiring, we decided to add on more space to it. And since it contained a perfectly good kitchen and bathroom, which are normally the most expensive rooms, we decided to primarily add space. I designed a brand-new outside of the house that completely enclosed the trailer house. The new space included a great room, a dining room, an extra bedroom and bath, office, and a screened-in back porch. We turned the old living room into a master bedroom, and I discovered a shower stall behind the paneling at the back of the fancy bar in the corner we didn't use. The previous owner had taken out an existing bathroom and enlarged the living room, so it was easy to convert it back into a small bathroom for our master bedroom.

We opened up an eighteen foot span in the side of the trailer adjacent to the great room we'd added on. The living room ceilings were 16' high with huge wooden beams and clerestory windows. Our builder, Pete Gonzales, kept telling me he wasn't a mason, but he built the most beautiful fireplace I've ever seen. I designed it as a right-angled triangle that stood between the dining and living rooms. It went all the way to the ceiling, creating rock walls on the back two sides. People who weren't familiar with our previous abode had no idea a trailer house was anywhere near our new-looking home.

We had more than doubled the size of our modest home, and it more than doubled the workload, too. I loved our newish home, but it soon turned into a huge source of frustration for me because I hadn't developed good habits when it came to keeping it clean and uncluttered. I never considered that when I was having so much fun designing it.

The new addition after we took the trailer house out; 

I'm sure I broke every architecture rule in the book, but we loved our house

Seventeen years later, we took the trailer house part out and built a new kitchen, dining room, master bedroom, bedroom, two bathrooms with walk-in closets, a large utility room, front porch, and carport. That added on another thousand square feet. I loved this house, too, but keeping it clean was still such a chore.

In the last remodeling effort, I used tin buckets to make the three porch lights to run along the long front porch; I punched different designs in each one of them and mounted them with  inexpensive ceramic light fixtures inside.

I now live in a house that's thirteen hundred square feet smaller than that last house I designed, and this one is a perfect fit. When the bigger house took most of the day to clean, it takes less than three hours to clean this one top to bottom. And I can do all the floors-- vacuum, steam-mop, and wax in an hour! I don't dread housework anymore. I have to say that it makes a world of difference to have the right tools, too, and the most expensive isn't necessarily the best.

Our front porch

My parents and I combined two households to move in together, so we both had to get rid of a lot of stuff. And the only problem we've struggled with is keeping the clutter at bay. One of the handiest features about this property has been the attic above the garage, which we use regularly.

Sometimes our eyes get bigger than our common sense when it comes to buying or building a house. Space is nice, but we also need to consider the cost of running and maintaining a larger place. And if we haven't acquired good cleaning habits in a smaller home, they don't magically appear when moving into a larger one. So when planning to upsize, plan on adjusting to the upsized workload, too. Develop those good habits beforehand, and maintaining your bigger house won't turn into a millstone around your neck.

Show & Tell

I have always been a bit introverted, except for around my family and close friends; I cut up as much as the rest of them. But in social and public environments I tend to feel uncomfortable and awkward.  I remember years ago in middle and high school wanting to be noticed and at the same time, not wanting to be noticed.

But even further back to my 3rd grade class, I always wanted to share on Show and Tell Friday but rarely remembered to bring something. My longing reached a tipping point one particular S&T day, and I looked around my desk and meager belongings to find something to show and tell about. I had a small pencil eraser that had come out of the end of a pencil, and I must've previously played around with it-- covering it with pencil lead and rolling it on paper, which made a track of gray like a printer. I decided I would share that marvelous discovery. So when the teacher asked if anyone had anything to share, I raised my hand.

I still cringe when I think about getting up and showing the class that little pencil eraser and what little it could do on paper. So desperate for attention, and getting it in a pitiful way. I don't remember the other students making fun of me or deriding me for presenting something so lame, in fact, some of them seemed truly interested. But I've never forgotten it, and I use the memory to remind myself today that I'd better not be posting lame stuff just to be posting something for show and tell. I don't want to waste people's time with useless words.

I do realize that one of the reasons I now write is to make connections with people, and writing is a very comfortable way for an introvert to do that. At the same time I am cognizant of my aversion to social settings and the strong desire to live in an isolated, emotional cave away from people, so I am attempting to improve those unhealthy areas of my life.

Writing also helps me sort out my thoughts, learn new ideas, change or crystalize my beliefs, and vent. But these days I find myself reserved about sharing my posts, and it's difficult for me to do any kind of self-promoting, which a writer has to do if one wants to sell one's written wares. A constant struggle for me. But I can promise you today that the stories in my novels and posts on my blogs are not empty show and tell efforts. I have the haunting memory of a pencil eraser to thank for that.